I’ve been mulling over this post for a few days, because my new manner of quilting first stirred the idea.  But I’ve been seeing life in a different manner for a good while now, before Dad died, before grandkids arrived, even before the sewing started.  But how I want to sew set this particular entry into place; last year I taught myself how to make traditional quilts.  This year, the focus is less structured.

Batik and tone on tone blocks, destination unknown....

Batik and tone on tone blocks, destination unknown….

But it’s not merely about comforters.  I used to be a pop culture junkie.  I used to write thinking of how best to market my novels.  I used to….  I used to be someone else, but everyone evolves, or they should.  Life is about learning, yet lately it also seems about unlearning previously held tenants and investigating new ones.

Much of this exploration is based upon my faith, how I am in this world, but not of this world.  And when I consider that, I feel like I have one foot in a corporeal plane, the other resting ethereally.  There’s a fine line as I balance myself, taking note of exactly when the Warriors play tomorrow night (five p.m. Pacific Daylight Time) and juxtaposing that against….  Well, that’s the interesting part.  I’m a HUGE sports fan, and as I live and breathe on this planet Earth, I can’t wait to endure Golden State and Cleveland in the NBA Finals.  Yet, if I close my eyes, or even leave them open but concentrate on the slightly blowing tree leaves just outside my window….

There is some other realm which has nothing to do with basketball playoffs or quilts or even grandchildren.  It is tied only to my soul, and my soul can’t tell the difference between sports teams or brands of coffee or even one novel or quilt compared to another.  And I can’t honestly describe this realm other than it’s related to how Jesus Christ operates in my life, which isn’t how he works in anyone else’s life.  So not even that is the same.

It’s a very apples and oranges sort of thing, I think.  Hmmm.  Maybe I have it all wrong.

But what I can’t dismiss is how lately I feel like everything I used to know no longer holds water.  Last year I thought patchwork quilts were all I’d ever want to piece together.  This year, floating squares rock my world.  I’ve been scribbling on the same story for ages, yet, I haven’t abandoned it, in fact I’ve taken a huge leap of faith that I am going to one day complete The Hawk.  And now babies crow in the mix, and perhaps they have crystallized this burgeoning sensation, or at least enough for me to attempt getting it down into a blog entry.

The Burrito and his growly lion.

The Burrito and his growly lion.

So many things for The Burrito and Little Miss to learn, but how much of it will be what I felt was essential when I was growing up?  At the end of my father’s life, all he knew were his hands being held by those who loved him most.  If we erase all the gains of modern life, loving touches still remain.  No matter how technologically advanced we become, how plugged in we choose to be, a soul can only be nourished via love.  I guess where I’m going with all this hoo-haa’ing is that with the bulk of my days probably already lived, I want to strip away that which is unnecessary so the vital elements are highlighted.  I don’t know exactly where my favourite sports teams fit into this new normal, but I’m okay with however things shake out.  As my grandchildren learn to roll over, crawl, then walk, this abuela isn’t afraid to wobble with one foot in this world, the other firmly placed….  Somewhere else.

Buttercup keeps an eye on Little Miss.

Buttercup keeps an eye on Little Miss (with a daddy’s loving support).

I have an Expert Hand guiding me as I grasp the hands of those I love.  All indeed will be well.

2 thoughts on “Unlearning….

  1. laura bruno lilly

    “And I can’t honestly describe this realm other than it’s related to how Jesus Christ operates in my life, which isn’t how he works in anyone else’s life. ”

    You are in such a tender place…and a safe place…



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