Earlier this week I was feeling supremely unmotivated (aka lazy). I tried writing a post about it, but couldn’t manage to complete it. Did a wee bit of writing, but it was like pulling my guts through my nostrils. And it wasn’t merely writing that suffered; I didn’t want to sew, a great notion of shiftlessness all through me. I spent yesterday with my eldest and Little Miss, so grateful for a change of scenery, giving me time to contemplate an idea that I didn’t truly wish to consider. However, after making a firm decision, a weight has been lifted, the spring back in my step. I’m setting aside The Hawk until sometime in 2018, even if I’m a quarter of the way through the last section of the saga.
Perhaps the magnitude of that announcement can’t be fully expressed within this post, but let’s just say that this time last year I’d hoped to finish that novel, but the writing was derailed by major surgery. Then 2017 was supposed to be the year for completion, but the conclusion that was Part Twelve turned into Part Thirteen and…. And several chapters into it, I found no burning desire to write. Um, what? In years past I could knock a rough draft off in a month, the National Novel Writing Month junkie in me. But the further I go with The Hawk, the harder it seems to be to wrap it up. The last time I stopped mid-section was right in the middle of a chapter, but today, thank the Lord, I was able to tie up the chapter that had been haunting me all week, in a manner that truly told me I was doing the right thing in stepping away from this story. I wasn’t even showered, not done with the morning coffee, but the urge to write was overwhelming. I’ve left myself with a nice little plot twist, and when I do return to this tale, my hopes are to forge right ahead, finishing this dang novel once and for all.
In the meantime…. Ha ha, of course I have something up my sleeve, which in part has assisted in this rather drastic change of plan. But getting back to how I used to write might be the answer for my current state of noveling. Knocking off drafts kept my lively imagination from growing stale. The writing might have sucked, ahem, but creative energy made up for the lackluster prose. A few days ago I revisited a novel written at the end of 2012, which I had poked around with for a couple of years after that. The main reason I never published it was it demands a sequel, and by the time I was ready to tackle that, I was knee-deep in The Hawk. But I love the characters, and how I wrote it, partially in first person, mostly in third. And seeing that November and NANO are right around the corner….
While I’m not going to formally participate in National Novel Writing Month, I am going to take the opportunity to try to write 50,000 words (or more, lol) in the next few weeks, or at least up until Lil’ Sis arrives, sometime in December. That nieta’s impending arrival has been part of my problem with The Hawk, because once she’s here, I won’t get any noveling accomplished for several weeks. Maybe it’s easier to jump into something definitely more succinct than that behemoth, but it’s also a little intimidating, hoping I can write an 80K story without it turning into 200,000 words.
That’s another part of why I need to do something else; I want to write a smaller story. I haven’t written a normal-length novel in…. Five years, jeez Louise! Which brings me to what I wish to blog about next, ten years of writing. But nearly half of that decade has been focused on one novel, and while there is an abundance of characters, themes, and story lines within The Hawk, I’m somewhat weary of those lovely folks. Basically I need a change of pace, and what better time than on the cusp of NANO?
The post I tried to write a couple of days ago was titled Heeding the Inner Rhythms, and I can’t convey how important that is. While I am suffering some remorse for not getting The Hawk in the can, more to matter is following my heart. I knew it this morning as I wrote with abandon, not wanting to leave Marek and Klaudia in a lurch. But even for how effortlessly that scene unfolded, all those wonderful words emerged due to knowing I was stepping away from them once that chapter was concluded. Maybe that seems silly; if I’m on a roll, best to stick with the WIP, right? Yet I know better than to question where I’m being led; so vital is listening to that inward guidance. Perhaps it appears foolish, but who am I to argue with the Spirit? My reward for being so attuned was the ease of those paragraphs tumbling from my fingers onto the document. After weeks of unpleasant mornings in front of my computer, I’m ready to let the words spill.
Not sure if I’ll post my progress, although it might be good just to hold myself accountable. For now, I’m relieved for the writing which occurred this morning, and greatly anticipating what awaits. My next ten years as a writer is just around the corner; goodness only knows what will be accomplished, but I’ll tell you, I sure can’t wait to see what emerges, hehehe….